“Oh my gosh, did you see her hair?”
“Oh honey, that’s nothing, I heard she has a HUGE tattoo on her back.”
“I hear she drinks. A lot.”
Well did you see her son? Honestly I don’t think she ever learned to discipline her kids, because he could really use a good, old-fashioned, ass-whooping.”
What you just read above was an actual conversation I overheard, about me, nearly four years ago, in church. The conversation was between two ladies that I thought were my mom’s friends. That conversation was my welcome back to life in a small town.
When I first moved back, my son obviously had some behavioral issues, but he had yet to be diagnosed with anything. As any mother would, I blamed myself (and sometimes I still do). I had read all the baby books, I had lots of experience with kids, and he was perfectly healthy, so it seemed to me that I was obviously the problem.
Now, a year later, I finally got some answers that made sense. First, he was a diagnosed as having an impulse disorder. Next it was ADHD. Over the next two years, other diagnoses were tacked on; an anxiety disorder and OCD. Then we were told that it was possibly bipolar as well. I’m no expert, especially coming from a family that had no mental illness (they’re all just crazy as hell, but no official diagnosis attached to any of them), but I started researching, because that’s what I do. I reached out, but had a hard time finding other parents that were going through this, or at least were willing to talk about it, so I turned to the internet. I wrote, I researched, and continued to reach out to any mom I saw dealing with any type of behavior problems.
As a mom, your only true priority is to protect your children and to raise them to the best of your ability. As a single mom, that burden will fall completely to you, and you will be under a microscope to boot. If you dare to be different, then anything that goes slightly wrong will definitely be your fault. Eventually, you just have to learn to trust yourself, and that’s what I’m here to help you do… Or at least I’ll try.
When I got divorced, I was in a unique situation: I never really learned to cook, I never had to struggle for money, and I had never spent a night completely alone. I had a lot of growing up to do, and FAST. Hell, I still have some changes to make and some growing up to do, but I’m getting there.
In this blog, you’ll grow with me. We’ll discuss not just the challenges of being a single mom, but being a mom, PERIOD. We’ll discuss friendships, relationships, family life. We’ll have fun making projects with the kids, or working on stuff for the house. We’ll learn to cook. We’ll learn to budget. We’ll learn how to make a difference in the world, and make it a better place to live in. Most of all, we’ll have fun. People tend to forget that once they have kids, the fun doesn’t stop. They forget that really, that’s when the fun truly begins. This is the most amazing journey any of us will ever be on, so let’s make the most of it!