On Friday at 4:20 pm I was called into a conference room to face the firing squad. Call me crazy, but I knew it was coming. They hired a new guy and trained him to do everything that I do. They had meetings and lunches without me. I KNEW something was up, but I had no choice but to wait it out. Yes, I got fired.
So, when they called me in and I saw the solemn faces, that feeling in the pit of my stomach gave way to relief. I had been going on a week wondering when it would happen and I was making myself sick with worry. Instead of worrying, now I began to think of the things I no longer had to worry about. I would no longer be bringing work home with me every night and have to sit at my computer until midnight to complete reports or testing for a website that I hated. I was no longer going to have to keep up with a stupid iPhone and make sure to answer it at all hours of the night. I was no longer going to have to get up at 5:00 in the morning to do extra work and drop my kids off outside the school before it opened just so that I could make it to work before everyone else and have their daily reports ready for them. Yes, I was relieved.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a little freaked out. And I’m still a little angry. Do I feel that they were justified in firing me? Yes and no. Was that job my top priority? No. But at times, when it wasn’t right to, I made it a priority. A person should never have to put a job before their kids, and that is exactly what they expected me to do. I felt guilty every day when I would drop my kids off and know that when I picked them up that evening, I still wouldn’t be able to play with them and do things that a good mom would.
Right now though, I’m looking at this is a wonderful opportunity. Yes, I got fired, but so many wonderful things can come from this. Yes, this is an opportunity that I would have passed up had I not been forced to go this route. Sure, it’s scary as hell, but we do some of our best work when we are scared out of our minds. I have looked and applied for a few jobs already. I have a small severance package that will be coming in, and I have decided that right now is not the time to worry; instead it’s time to celebrate with my kids. Momma’s home boys, and this time she’s not bringing work with her!